THE JOHN AND RACHEL SHOW HITS MIDDLE ENGLAND
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What was missing from the life of the man who had everything? A fast car ? A bomb-proof career with corporate hospitality thrown in? A good woman? A small child? Well, in John's case, all of those things. However once the realisation sank in, to his credit John acted with pace. With one theatrical sweep of the hand he achieved it all by slipping a ring on Rachel's finger. Described below are some of the high (and low) points of this year's big (and unfortunately only) wedding - the John and Rachel show!
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Before giving in completely to married life John tried one last chat up line, shouting "I'm just like quasimodo, big and strong with one helluva hump". |
STOCK GOING DOWN
Prior to the ceremony, John took one last chance to check the value of his portfolio with his financial advisor. "Is Captain Nemo's going down on me?" he demanded of his young protege.
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TOP TABLE The delights of a top table were there for all to see on the day. Best Man, sat by himself gazing into space wondering whether mentioning Plan B would be funny or disatrous. The bride gone - job done, man married, now off to gossip about dresses with all her friends. Husband, left to socialise by himself with the inlaws, and resorting to pulling funny faces to keep himself amused.
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LAST CHANCE 
